Posted By Becky Cochran on July 13, 2009

Negative self-talk, the chatter in the mind, is one of the most destructive habits we have, because it is almost impos­sible to shut it off or walk away from it. This chatter is with us every day and night, heckling us and tearing down our self-image and self-esteem. Chatter can originate from a variety of sources: parents, siblings, authority figures, the self and others.

Frequently parents or others impose expectations upon us or use us as an escape valve to vent their anger, hurt or frustration in life. This abuse may be expressed verbally or non-verbally. Over time comments like “You’re ugly,” “You’re fat,” “You’re stupid,” “You can’t do that,” “It won’t work anyway, why bother,” “You don’t matter,” “Nothing you do will ever matter,” “No one really cares about you,” “You’re not important,” “You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never succeed” can seriously weaken and even destroy our self-image and self-esteem. This is especially true in the case of children and others who are not emotionally strong enough to defend themselves. Children have psychically open energy fields and they accept what ‘big people’ say about them as absolute truth. Eventually they internalize these abusive statements and start repeating them to themselves.

The effect of negative self-talk becomes even more destructive when we accept those abusive statements of “You are _____” and internalize them as “I am ______.” In this process, the judgments and criticism of others are accepted into our self-talk. A critical point is reached when, rather than repeating others’ words in our mind in the sec­ond person – ‘you are’ – we begin to repeat them from a first-person – ‘I am’ – point of view. Someone tells us, “You’re stupid,” and our mind changes this to “I’m stupid.” This shift is not subtle. It is a major shift during which we internalize – accept into our conscious and subconscious – the falsehood about who we are.

Reversing and eliminating negative self-talk takes com­mitment, determination, practice and the willingness to accept that abusers and other people are wrong. The more we can confront our negative self-talk – telling it to ’stop’, telling the people behind the voices that they are wrong – and start positively reclaiming our wounded self, the faster we will heal.

Affirmations, journaling, meditating and inner child work support the journey back to total health. We can quiet or eliminate our negative self-talk and stand up to the voices in our head by yelling out loud or silently in our mind “Stop,” “Be quiet,” “Your work is finished,” “It’s time for you to go now!” This willingness to confront self ­talk is critical to subduing negative programs.

There are other approaches to healing negative self-talk. You can meditate and ask for God or Higher Power to help quiet your mind. Another approach is to combine journaling and meditating to get in touch with and commu­nicate with the source of the negative self-talk, asking where it came from and what it wants. When you know these answers, you can heal this voice by praying for its healing and release, and start programming the message you really want to have.

Conscious breathing, breathing slowly and deeply, can also change the energy. On the in-breath, say to yourself, “I am”; as you exhale say, “Peace”. Repeat this for at least 5-15 minutes. This provides positive I talk which changes the focus of you the power of negative self-talk.

Another approach is to pay close attention to your self-talk. If it becomes negative, change your focus and engage in an activity that demands your full attention and physical strength, such as jogging, swimming, playing tennis or sailing. You can also change your focus by helping someone else in need.

Reference: The Healing Energy of your Hands by Michael Bradford

Categories: Negative Self-Talk
Tags: Abusive Statements, Affirmations, Ask God, Change your Focus, Conscious Breathing, Destructive Habits, Healing, Healing Energy, Healing Words, Higher Power, Inner child work, Internalizing, Journaling, Meditating, Mind Chatter, Negative Self-Talk, Peace, Reversing Negative Self-Talk, Self-Esteem, Self-Image